{"id":1699,"date":"2023-04-22T19:24:37","date_gmt":"2023-04-23T02:24:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/imho.kileozier.com\/?p=1699"},"modified":"2023-04-22T19:24:37","modified_gmt":"2023-04-23T02:24:37","slug":"obtw-some-bonus-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/imho.kileozier.com\/?p=1699","title":{"rendered":"OBTW* Some Bonus Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My mind kept working, after yesterday\u2019s post, bringing up various and sundry Things I Could Have Included\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Herewith, then, is a Treasure Chest of Real Life Navigational Tools<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI already have plans\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Years ago (and by that I mean YEARS ago), when I was National Youth Director for an Incumbent\u2019s Presidential Campaign, I was dating my \u201cBoss,\u201d the Director of Voter Groups (we\u2019ll call her \u201cCarolyn B.\u201d), who was also seeing another guy on the campaign (we\u2019ll call him \u201cPaul M.\u201d). I learned something from \u201cCarolyn\u201d that has served me to this day in unexpected and eminently effective ways across virtually all aspects of personal and professional life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I would ask Carolyn out for a specific date; if the answer were not \u201cyes,\u201d it would be, \u201cI already have plans\u2026\u201d full stop. No details, no further information. No openings for further question beyond \u201cwhen might you be free, then, Madame\u2026?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could think what I might about what her alternate plans might be, but I had nothing beyond Assumption on which to base an essentially fruitless and likely detrimental-to-the-relationship interrogation. The subject was clearly closed and my proposed option off the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turns Out\u2026this is a GREAT technique for all such exchanges in Life; to which I have translated and applied this little trick of less is more to virtually all potential scheduling conflicts – personal and professional.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Personal Example\u2026<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend(s)<\/strong>: \u201cHey, wanna see a movie on Friday night?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You<\/strong>: \u201cI can\u2019t; am having dinner with my mother..\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend(s)<\/strong>: \u201cCan\u2019t you change that to another night and come with us?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

versus<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend(s)<\/strong>: \u201cHey, wanna see a movie on Friday night?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You<\/strong>: \u201cUnfortunately, I already have plans\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend(s)<\/strong>: \u201cOh\u2026\u2026is there another night that\u2019s good for you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026Translated to Professional Contexts:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For some reason, people often seem to think that they have a de facto<\/em> vote in how one runs one\u2019s own life; down to the setting of personal priorities and the keeping or previous commitments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Frinstance; back in the days I was competing in bodybuilding and physique, my nutrition and workout schedule was an intense routine, and sticking to the schedule was an integral part of keeping focus – nothing casual about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, when in<\/em> a meeting with a client, scheduling upcoming<\/em> meetings, and the client would pitch, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, can we meet next Thursday at 3pm?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than say, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, I have workout at that time\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

and open up the Portal of Assumption, Pique and Judgement<\/strong>; I\u2019d look at my calendar and say\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m already booked for 3pm on Thursday; what else y\u2019all got?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one needs to know what\u2019s in the way; your private life is your own<\/em>: much the same as the irrelevance of the amount of your rent and the number of kids one has to the conversation of salary and pay raises of which we spoke in the previous post.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t even open those issues<\/em>. Just as your fees should represent your value; your schedule and the commitments you have made to yourself are yours to harbor and meet\u2026sharing them with those of other priorities is not required.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The net effect, by the way, is a perception of you as a busy, sought-after professional. The natural assumption is that if you\u2019re that busy, you must be in demand. Optics. Raise your rates. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting Paid: When and Why to Decline Work<\/strong>. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us have taken jobs that paid too little, taken a client about which we don\u2019t feel completely comfortable or a cause in which we may not believe; but we needed the work. I would offer that, most often in such situations, pretty much all parties end up unhappy in the long run. Resentment and unmet expectation can truly undermine the dynamic.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More often than not, everyone ends up unsatisfied and unhappy; seeing the end product through the filter of the tone of the working team and collaboration. If one can avoid this, I believe one should do so, even going so far as to recommend another whom you think might better fit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

True; sometimes it\u2019s the only gig coming down the pike, the only client evident, and one must do what one must do in order to feed kids or cat. If that difficult choice must be made so, consider yoga or meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seek always to be the last one to speak in a meeting.<\/span><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Unless you are the one actually running the meeting.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Especially in a new group or team, but equally valuable with regular cohorts and colleagues; the longer you wait to speak and more you listen to what everyone else has to say or share, the more informed you  will be and the more enlightened and in-tune will be what you ultimately say, because\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n